045: Dear Carbohydrates

Dear Carbohydrates,

I think it's time you and I had a talk. There are some things we need to work out.
You and I have had a relationship for as long as I can remember. And we both know I love you. A lot. Almost too much for my own good. You are comforting, and delicious, and you've been there for everything. For the good times, and the bad. You're a part of so many things that I love. It's hard to picture my life without you.

But, for a long time, our relationship has slowly been becoming a negative one. You know. People talk. So many people in my life, and in society, just do not want us to be together. They say you're bad for me. And deep down, I know they are right. I mean, in the long run, you are definitely hurting me more than you are helping me.

And I've seen how you treat other women. It's really not fair that some women fair way better in your company than me. This was my one major problem with the WB tv show Gilmore Girls. I loved that show but come on. Those two women were all about carbs. Carbs carbs carbs. That's all they ever ate. I understand that they are fictional characters but their superhuman metabolisms made me green with envy for years. But it's not just them. There are just some women who can eat whatever they want, and never gain an ounce. (Sorry, but those women suck.)  And I think I'm always going to be jealous of other women like that, Carbohydrates. It's just how I am.

But it's just so difficult to give you up completely. (I wish I knew how to quit you!) Because even though my head knows you're bad for me, my heart (er, stomach) can't help remembering the good times. The deliciousness.

So I guess this is an ultimatum, carbohydrates. We need to work on our relationship. We need to find healthier ways of co-existing. Because you're not going away, and neither am I. And I'm not getting any younger. It's only going to get worse if I just keep glossing over all of the information that points out all of your glaring flaws. We've got to fix them. Now.

I hope we understand each other.

Sincerely,
Jenny W.

(Author's note: This is what sleep depravation and heavy allergy medication will do to you.)
(Author's other note: I was definitely eating a brownie while writing this letter. And hating myself for it.)