Hey all! So I'm going to make this one quick. I know I haven't blogged a lot this week, but I've been so busy! Summer is in full swing and I'm a happy camper. Pre-prepping meals has actually been a godsend since I usually only have 15 minutes to eat between work and something else. But it's so worth it.
So when I stepped on the scale today, I found out I'm up 3 lbs from last week. But I am really okay with that, actually. Today is the first day of "that time of the month" and I know that I gain anywhere between 2 and 5 lbs during that time. It really sucks, being a girl. I am actually proudest of myself for not sweating these 3 lbs. I think it's because I know I've stayed on track this week, so there was nothing I could really do to help myself do better, honestly. So I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and next week will be different.
I hope you all are having a great week and staying healthy and getting out a lot in the sunshine! I WILL say there is a lot of stuff going on in my life that I will eventually blog about, but for now, I'm out! Have a lovely saturday!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
061: On food hangovers and feeling crazy
Sorry for the hiatus, blogosphere! (Isn't that the word used to describe the blogging community? Blogosphere? It sounds silly. Try saying it out loud.) I've been so insaely busy this last week or so. My days start at aroung 6:30. Some days I am home for about 10 or 15 minutes to make a quick dinner and then it's back out til 11pm. Some nights I''m not home at all and it's a shake on the go or dinner at my office. So it's been 18 hour days for a few weeks now. Even this weekend, fun as it was to hang out with one of my absolute best friends in the best city in the world, was jam packed. I find myself constantly forgetting things because I have SO much on my plate.
So I'm busy and frazzled and run down. But it's more than that. Lately I'm crying all the time. I'm flying off the handle for ridiculous stuff. I feel awkward and out of sorts and unable to respond in standard social situations. I'm losing my hair, I am not sleeping well...
In short, I feel like I'm going batshit crazy.
And I haven't wanted to say anything because nobody wants to admit something like that. I mean, most people at one time or another will struggle with this sort of thing, but it always leaves a person feeling weak and unreliable. I don't like feeling that way.
Then I read a post on a friend's weight loss blog, and it sounded like she was going through the same thing, going through the motions and trying constantly to get herself out of this funk. And it got me thinking- when you're losing massive amounts of weight in a rapid fashion, is this normal?
So I did a little research, and guess what? It totally is.
Turns out that when you gain weight, you crave sugars and other carbs, and then when you go on a more low-carb diet, you are depriving your brain of seratonin (the brain chemical that makes you feel happy), which can lead to depression and mood swings.
In short, it all comes back to carbs. My arch nemesis. Damn you, carbs! (You can't see me but I am shaking my fist like william shatner right now.)
But I'm glad that it all makes sense now! I SHOULD be miserable and feel crazy right now. My brain chemicals are all kinds of messed up. The question is, what can you do about it? Carbs are not the answer- I accidentally left my herbalife shaker at home over my weekend vacation and went a little carb crazy- and paid for it afterwards, with a huge food hangover (food hangovers are what happens when your body feels awful after binging on deliciousness. If my digestive system could scream and curse at me, it would have.)
I found this article fabulously helpful :
Is your diet making you hangry? (Hungry and angry)
They suggest cutting back on calories and carbs more slowly, which I don't think is going to work for me, and that 45-65 percent of your diet should be carbs. So I'm going to go stock up on some whole grain crackers and whole wheat pasta. It also says I should be getting more omega 3 fatty acids, which are found in things like fish and walnuts (both of which I tend not to eat). I'm also going to try to work in more small amounts of dark chocolate into my diet.
This is all so complicated! How am I going to remember it all? Simple- it's time to buy a new planner, start making to do lists again (I made one for today and yesterday and monday and felt fabulously productive- does anyone else LOVE checking things off of a to-do list as much as I do?) And I'm going to try to do more brain excercising on the weekends- back to sudoku,, trivia, and crossword puzzles for this geek!
I feel good about all of this information and changes. I feel like,w ith anything, it's going to start slowly- all of this is not going to happen over night, but I am going to work at it and try to find that balance, you know? And I mean, if you had asked me if any of this, or any of the things I've done over the last 5 months were possible a year ago, year ago me would have laughed in your face. So I'm sure I can tackle this too.
Also- I have upped my workout regimen in a fun way- more about that tomorrow!
For now, this:
8/7/12
7:45am- herbalife shake and tea
11:15am- herbalife shake, a plum, and almonds
2:30pm- oikos strawberry yogurt
6:00pm- amy's pizza (DELICIOUS- best frozen pizza I've ever had- and organic/okay for you too!) and carrot sticks
So I'm busy and frazzled and run down. But it's more than that. Lately I'm crying all the time. I'm flying off the handle for ridiculous stuff. I feel awkward and out of sorts and unable to respond in standard social situations. I'm losing my hair, I am not sleeping well...
In short, I feel like I'm going batshit crazy.
And I haven't wanted to say anything because nobody wants to admit something like that. I mean, most people at one time or another will struggle with this sort of thing, but it always leaves a person feeling weak and unreliable. I don't like feeling that way.
Then I read a post on a friend's weight loss blog, and it sounded like she was going through the same thing, going through the motions and trying constantly to get herself out of this funk. And it got me thinking- when you're losing massive amounts of weight in a rapid fashion, is this normal?
So I did a little research, and guess what? It totally is.
Turns out that when you gain weight, you crave sugars and other carbs, and then when you go on a more low-carb diet, you are depriving your brain of seratonin (the brain chemical that makes you feel happy), which can lead to depression and mood swings.
In short, it all comes back to carbs. My arch nemesis. Damn you, carbs! (You can't see me but I am shaking my fist like william shatner right now.)
But I'm glad that it all makes sense now! I SHOULD be miserable and feel crazy right now. My brain chemicals are all kinds of messed up. The question is, what can you do about it? Carbs are not the answer- I accidentally left my herbalife shaker at home over my weekend vacation and went a little carb crazy- and paid for it afterwards, with a huge food hangover (food hangovers are what happens when your body feels awful after binging on deliciousness. If my digestive system could scream and curse at me, it would have.)
I found this article fabulously helpful :
Is your diet making you hangry? (Hungry and angry)
They suggest cutting back on calories and carbs more slowly, which I don't think is going to work for me, and that 45-65 percent of your diet should be carbs. So I'm going to go stock up on some whole grain crackers and whole wheat pasta. It also says I should be getting more omega 3 fatty acids, which are found in things like fish and walnuts (both of which I tend not to eat). I'm also going to try to work in more small amounts of dark chocolate into my diet.
This is all so complicated! How am I going to remember it all? Simple- it's time to buy a new planner, start making to do lists again (I made one for today and yesterday and monday and felt fabulously productive- does anyone else LOVE checking things off of a to-do list as much as I do?) And I'm going to try to do more brain excercising on the weekends- back to sudoku,, trivia, and crossword puzzles for this geek!
I feel good about all of this information and changes. I feel like,w ith anything, it's going to start slowly- all of this is not going to happen over night, but I am going to work at it and try to find that balance, you know? And I mean, if you had asked me if any of this, or any of the things I've done over the last 5 months were possible a year ago, year ago me would have laughed in your face. So I'm sure I can tackle this too.
Also- I have upped my workout regimen in a fun way- more about that tomorrow!
For now, this:
8/7/12
7:45am- herbalife shake and tea
11:15am- herbalife shake, a plum, and almonds
2:30pm- oikos strawberry yogurt
6:00pm- amy's pizza (DELICIOUS- best frozen pizza I've ever had- and organic/okay for you too!) and carrot sticks
Saturday, August 4, 2012
060: Never the heroine, always the DUFF.
Hey out there! So first of all, let me deal with some housekeeping. On Thursday I stuck really closely to my diet. Yesterday I deviated a little more than I should have, considering it was the day before weigh in. I had 2 slices of pizza and a cupcake at a going away party (and they were carbalicious! Carbtastic! Carbnificent!) So I was a little apprehensive stepping on the scale this morning. But I still managed to lose 2 lbs this week. 2lbs is not only completely respectable, but it's my goal for weekly weight loss. Losing 10 lbs in a week every week is actually really not good for you. Not only is it not good for you, but your body can't ever really bounce back and stay tight that way. 2lbs is great. Perfect even.
Yesterday I auditioned for a play. I've done some theater before. I am really more of a singer than an actress, but I love musicals for that reason. A little background- I have only once played the leading lady. And that was in youth theater. And I played an old woman. In fact, I almost always either play an old woman, or a fat girl. I've been Jan in Grease, Mama in Bye Bye Birdie, Jacob Marley (in a clown suit actually designed to make me look fatter for laughs) in A Christmas Carol. Over time I have come to only audition for those roles, since I know that's all I'm going to get. Know thyself, right? But yesterday I felt good. I walked in with my head held high and asked to sing/read for the leading lady.
Auditions are always stressful, at least for me. This one was particularly stressful since some of the people there were particularly unfriendly. I wanted to grab one girl and be like "listen. We know you're talented. Get out of your own head and stop scowling at everyone, this is just for fun, honey. We all have day jobs." I don't understand how competitive people get about this stuff. Grown adults with lives outside of this. Come on, effing relax. We're all just here to have a good time.
Of course, there were 2 girls there that blew me out of the water, but hey, I was proud of myself for trying. And really, I figured I would just take any role. That is, of course, until the director asked me to sing for a specific part that is basically one big fat joke.
To say I was crushed is an understatement. I don't care about not being Nancy, but I'll be damned if after all this work I am going to get up on stage and have my size made fun of. I know it's just acting. I know it's just a character. But I'm not a professional actress, and those words still sting. This is regional theater. Nobody's getting paid, it should be fun. If I'm one big walking fat joke, I will not be enjoying myself. Not one bit.
After the auditions wrapped, I actually called the director, but he didn't pick up. I don't think I got the part of "the fat joke" either, since there was one lady, who, in my opinion, was hilarious and totally okay with making fun of herself, and should totally get the part. But if it is offered to me, I am goign to say no. I would literally rather not be in that show at all than be the chubby lovey dovey lady. I have, both on and off stage, been a fat joke for pretty much my whole life. And I will never, ever, be that again. Ever.
Anyway. End rant.
I am off to new york now. Nothing can cure the fat girl in musical theater blues like some best friend time in the big apple. And some jamba juice. Mmm.
Yesterday I auditioned for a play. I've done some theater before. I am really more of a singer than an actress, but I love musicals for that reason. A little background- I have only once played the leading lady. And that was in youth theater. And I played an old woman. In fact, I almost always either play an old woman, or a fat girl. I've been Jan in Grease, Mama in Bye Bye Birdie, Jacob Marley (in a clown suit actually designed to make me look fatter for laughs) in A Christmas Carol. Over time I have come to only audition for those roles, since I know that's all I'm going to get. Know thyself, right? But yesterday I felt good. I walked in with my head held high and asked to sing/read for the leading lady.
Auditions are always stressful, at least for me. This one was particularly stressful since some of the people there were particularly unfriendly. I wanted to grab one girl and be like "listen. We know you're talented. Get out of your own head and stop scowling at everyone, this is just for fun, honey. We all have day jobs." I don't understand how competitive people get about this stuff. Grown adults with lives outside of this. Come on, effing relax. We're all just here to have a good time.
Of course, there were 2 girls there that blew me out of the water, but hey, I was proud of myself for trying. And really, I figured I would just take any role. That is, of course, until the director asked me to sing for a specific part that is basically one big fat joke.
To say I was crushed is an understatement. I don't care about not being Nancy, but I'll be damned if after all this work I am going to get up on stage and have my size made fun of. I know it's just acting. I know it's just a character. But I'm not a professional actress, and those words still sting. This is regional theater. Nobody's getting paid, it should be fun. If I'm one big walking fat joke, I will not be enjoying myself. Not one bit.
After the auditions wrapped, I actually called the director, but he didn't pick up. I don't think I got the part of "the fat joke" either, since there was one lady, who, in my opinion, was hilarious and totally okay with making fun of herself, and should totally get the part. But if it is offered to me, I am goign to say no. I would literally rather not be in that show at all than be the chubby lovey dovey lady. I have, both on and off stage, been a fat joke for pretty much my whole life. And I will never, ever, be that again. Ever.
Anyway. End rant.
I am off to new york now. Nothing can cure the fat girl in musical theater blues like some best friend time in the big apple. And some jamba juice. Mmm.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
059: Carbohydrates: government conspiracy? Or just delicious.
So, I'm finding it hard to be dilligent with this blog. There's just not always something related to my weight loss to write about every day. Which I think is good in a way. This does not own my life.
Yesterday was good. I went to wrights farm with the kids on a field trip and abstained from literally every baked good that was offered to me, no matter how delicious. I was pretty proud of myself. Then I went to the movies, which is also a little test of my abstaining abilities. But with friends as witnesses, I will say I didn't get anything other than a ticket. Go me. So that makes yesterdays food as follows:
7:45am- herbalife shake and tea
11:00am- herbalife shake, banana, almonds
2:30pm- oikos yogurt
6:30pm- chicken and cucumber slices
Then today, I ate:
7:30am- herbalife shake and tea
11:00am- herbalife shake and banana
2:30pm- oikos yogurt
6:30pm- chicken and carrot sticks
I am currently sitting here at the locals loathing this carb free diet. It seems that all delcious things have carbohydrates. I think that is the main ingredient, in fact. Carbohydrates are made of delicious.
So anyway. The other day at work, the kids were learning about food pyramind/my plate, and there was something that is still sort of perplexing to me. In school, as children we learn that we are supposed to have something insane like 8-10 servings of carbohydrates a DAY. I don't know if that's the statistic that still exists now, but when I was a tot, it was for sure 8-10. No wonder we as american's are obese. We are told that 8-10 servings of carbs are recommended. As children! Children will believe anything! I grew up believing in santa claus, and carbohydrates.
Carbs really don't have much nutritional value, do they? Especially carbs as people view them. White flour has absolutely no benefits nutritionally. And by the time we figure it out, we're hooked. I mean, if I needed carbs in my diet, I would be eating carbs and not protein. (And I would be absolutely okay with that).
So if anyone can answer me why we need carbs, please, be my guest. For now I will be oggling the nachos I cannot enjoy. Blah.
Yesterday was good. I went to wrights farm with the kids on a field trip and abstained from literally every baked good that was offered to me, no matter how delicious. I was pretty proud of myself. Then I went to the movies, which is also a little test of my abstaining abilities. But with friends as witnesses, I will say I didn't get anything other than a ticket. Go me. So that makes yesterdays food as follows:
7:45am- herbalife shake and tea
11:00am- herbalife shake, banana, almonds
2:30pm- oikos yogurt
6:30pm- chicken and cucumber slices
Then today, I ate:
7:30am- herbalife shake and tea
11:00am- herbalife shake and banana
2:30pm- oikos yogurt
6:30pm- chicken and carrot sticks
I am currently sitting here at the locals loathing this carb free diet. It seems that all delcious things have carbohydrates. I think that is the main ingredient, in fact. Carbohydrates are made of delicious.
So anyway. The other day at work, the kids were learning about food pyramind/my plate, and there was something that is still sort of perplexing to me. In school, as children we learn that we are supposed to have something insane like 8-10 servings of carbohydrates a DAY. I don't know if that's the statistic that still exists now, but when I was a tot, it was for sure 8-10. No wonder we as american's are obese. We are told that 8-10 servings of carbs are recommended. As children! Children will believe anything! I grew up believing in santa claus, and carbohydrates.
Carbs really don't have much nutritional value, do they? Especially carbs as people view them. White flour has absolutely no benefits nutritionally. And by the time we figure it out, we're hooked. I mean, if I needed carbs in my diet, I would be eating carbs and not protein. (And I would be absolutely okay with that).
So if anyone can answer me why we need carbs, please, be my guest. For now I will be oggling the nachos I cannot enjoy. Blah.
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