Well blogosphere, it's been a while. I'm not going to lie, Ive thought about discontinuing this blog altogether. It just seems as though it was a security blanket while starting this journey that, at least at the present, I feel like I don't need anymore.
I mean, there are still tough days, but right now I'm riding the crest of a wave. I went on vacation to new york this weekend, herbalife in my luggage. I visited with a really truly supportive close friend, who really kept me on track for the whole three days. We ate salads, we walked about a thousand miles. (Started at Penn Station, ended up on Bleeker Street).
But moreover, I think this is just what I needed to clear my head and get out of this funk I've been in. There's something about new york. I just sort of feel like I'm more myself when I'm there, you know? Or maybe, more of the myself I'd like to be.
Usually I spend a ton of money on these trips so I can't really afford to go often. But since I didn't go out to eat pretty much the whole time, I actually saved a lot of money, which was nice. I also did some busking. Busking is when you play music in a public place in the hopes that tourists and passersby will give you money. There's also a pretty good chance you could get heckled.
This is not something I think I would have had the confidence to attempt a few months ago. But I have this newfound energy. These newfound guts. So I tried it. And nobody heckled. And I made 15 dollars. And Shayna says this adorable boy who was eating his lunch by the fountain hit on me. But I'm pretty sure he was just asking me about some of my equipment. I'm still pretty oblivious to stuff like that. I was pretty sure he was hitting on her. It's going to be an adjustment to see myself as something othe than the DUFF.
I spent the rest of the time wandering around old stomping grounds and letting some of that magic set in. Then I drove home. I pretty much spent all of monday by myself, which was good too. Alone with my thoughts, letting the new york magic slowly leave me.
So I arrived back in Rhode Island pretty rejuvenated. I went to get some pants, and found out that I'm actually down 2 pants sizes. I then proceded to buy an exorbitant amount of clothes because, hello, that's effing awesome. I'm officially skinnier than I have been in like 10 years. I'm a size 14. And while I still have a way to go, I'm officially in the realm of normal chubby. And that is an awesome feeling.
It is such an awesome feeling, in fact, that I dont feel the need to cheat on my diet anymore. I actually am relishing that hungry feeling, and that feeling that comes with eating healthy and sweating my butt off.
And just like that magic feeling I get in new york, I'm sure this feeling won't last. But I'm reveling in it while I can.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
047: A hodgepodgey update
I know my blog posts have become more sporadic. And for that I apologize. It just seems that I have less to say these days. I mean how many times can you write "So I feel like crap and I have no appetite/drive to work out". In short, I have been fighting a lingering cold for a while, and that with the stress of the last few weeks have just left me tapped out and blah for so long, I didn't see the point of writing.
And for that I apologize too.
Rather than go into some ridiculous long winded rambling about the last couple of days, let me just touch on some bullet points.
Saturday (5/19/12)- Had my healthy potluck/game night. It was great to see all the ladies, who are all doing AMAZINGLY. (is amazingly a word? It is now!) It was really cool because everyone is trying different things and getting results. I guess something different works for everyone. We agreed to do another one next month and have it be a spa night. I love this idea. Manicures are my favorite thing.
Sunday (5/20/12)- Weigh and measure. Down another 6 lbs, which brings that total to 38lbs lost. That's right. Close to a third of the way there, kids. I was pretty excited, although a little perplexed, since I lost almost no inches. Where did those 6 lbs come from?
Monday (5/21/12) Went shopping for clothes at Old Navy, since my pants are literally falling off me. I managed to completely miss the time when a size 18 fit me. Now those are too big and I'm once again between sizes. Between a 16 and a 18. This is exciting though, because I have not been a size 16 since my senior year of high school. And heres the thing, normal sized friends who have never been heavy. A 14/16 is the difference, looks wise, and shopping wise, between "Obese can't buy clothes anywhere" and "Normal fat". "Normal fat" means I'm heavy and still have work to do, but I'm starting to sort of merge into that majoritty of women who are not ever going to be a size 2. I'm pretty excited about that prospect.
Tuesday (5/22/12) Caveman training at Laidback Fitness! Ryan had me do some crazy stuff that day that has left me bruised up a bit, blistered up a bit, and with sore upper arms, but still an awesome workout. I did things that I never thought I could have the strength to do. By the time I am done with this whole losing weight thing, I am also going to be pretty deisel jacked. That's right. I will have muscles on my muscles and I'm pretty okay with that. A HUGE fear of mine is losing all this weight and having all that super unsightly loose skin everywhere. Working out is pretty essential to avoiding the whole sailboat arm thing that people tend to get. And as workouts go, this one is pretty tops. If you're looking for a personal training type situation and you live in the 401, I totally recommend this. Like I said. Muscles on top of muscles.
So today I really stuck to my herbalife diet more closely than I have in the last couple of days. I am really trying to get back on track. I think part of that will be writing down all of my food choices once again. I think consciously making a note of what I'm eating will greatly help me.
And, you know, since I love challenging myself, I'm going on a vacation for memorial day. I'm going to New York to spend time with one of my absolute best friends. Usually this means burgers, giant smoothies, takeout, and lots of vegging around. Last year I was in such bad shape I couldn't even really handle the walking around the city part. And this weekend it's supposed to rain. I'm going to bring my herbalife with me and really really try to stick to it on Saturday and Monday (keeping Sunday as my fun cheating day). But it's going to be tough since there are a lot of delicious things I can only get in New York that I miss terribly. Namely Jambajuice. I want a giant strawberry smoothie like it's my job. I'm just going to have to trek like 400 blocks to justify it.
I'm also going to really really try to get back into blogging daily, even if it's just my food intake and a couple of sentences. I think I was doing better when I was answering to all of you, dont you agree? And in the face of bathing suit season starting in a couple of weeks, it's crunch time!
And for that I apologize too.
Rather than go into some ridiculous long winded rambling about the last couple of days, let me just touch on some bullet points.
Saturday (5/19/12)- Had my healthy potluck/game night. It was great to see all the ladies, who are all doing AMAZINGLY. (is amazingly a word? It is now!) It was really cool because everyone is trying different things and getting results. I guess something different works for everyone. We agreed to do another one next month and have it be a spa night. I love this idea. Manicures are my favorite thing.
Sunday (5/20/12)- Weigh and measure. Down another 6 lbs, which brings that total to 38lbs lost. That's right. Close to a third of the way there, kids. I was pretty excited, although a little perplexed, since I lost almost no inches. Where did those 6 lbs come from?
Monday (5/21/12) Went shopping for clothes at Old Navy, since my pants are literally falling off me. I managed to completely miss the time when a size 18 fit me. Now those are too big and I'm once again between sizes. Between a 16 and a 18. This is exciting though, because I have not been a size 16 since my senior year of high school. And heres the thing, normal sized friends who have never been heavy. A 14/16 is the difference, looks wise, and shopping wise, between "Obese can't buy clothes anywhere" and "Normal fat". "Normal fat" means I'm heavy and still have work to do, but I'm starting to sort of merge into that majoritty of women who are not ever going to be a size 2. I'm pretty excited about that prospect.
Tuesday (5/22/12) Caveman training at Laidback Fitness! Ryan had me do some crazy stuff that day that has left me bruised up a bit, blistered up a bit, and with sore upper arms, but still an awesome workout. I did things that I never thought I could have the strength to do. By the time I am done with this whole losing weight thing, I am also going to be pretty deisel jacked. That's right. I will have muscles on my muscles and I'm pretty okay with that. A HUGE fear of mine is losing all this weight and having all that super unsightly loose skin everywhere. Working out is pretty essential to avoiding the whole sailboat arm thing that people tend to get. And as workouts go, this one is pretty tops. If you're looking for a personal training type situation and you live in the 401, I totally recommend this. Like I said. Muscles on top of muscles.
So today I really stuck to my herbalife diet more closely than I have in the last couple of days. I am really trying to get back on track. I think part of that will be writing down all of my food choices once again. I think consciously making a note of what I'm eating will greatly help me.
And, you know, since I love challenging myself, I'm going on a vacation for memorial day. I'm going to New York to spend time with one of my absolute best friends. Usually this means burgers, giant smoothies, takeout, and lots of vegging around. Last year I was in such bad shape I couldn't even really handle the walking around the city part. And this weekend it's supposed to rain. I'm going to bring my herbalife with me and really really try to stick to it on Saturday and Monday (keeping Sunday as my fun cheating day). But it's going to be tough since there are a lot of delicious things I can only get in New York that I miss terribly. Namely Jambajuice. I want a giant strawberry smoothie like it's my job. I'm just going to have to trek like 400 blocks to justify it.
I'm also going to really really try to get back into blogging daily, even if it's just my food intake and a couple of sentences. I think I was doing better when I was answering to all of you, dont you agree? And in the face of bathing suit season starting in a couple of weeks, it's crunch time!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
046: Stress (and other excuses we make)
So much has happened in the last few days. I keep meaning to blog, but by the time I get home, I'm so tired and run down I pretty much want to lose consciousness as soon as possible.
So hmm, where to start. Well on Thursday, I went back to Laidback Fitness for another kick butt workout. This one was my third, and while the workouts are definitely challenging, and I am sore afterwards, it is a good kind of sore (if there is a good kind of sore), where I still am able to function. Even though they are tough and at the end I am sweaty and exhausted, I really look forward to these sessions. I already feel stronger, if that makes any sense. And I always leave feeling like I really got the most out of my workout that day.
Other than that I've been taking it pretty easy on the workout front. I've learned that if you work out really hard a couple of days a week, you can get by doing smaller things the rest of the week. So I go for walks. I teach a dance class that is mostly just jumping around with the kids at the daycare. And yesterday I played a show, which was more of a workout than I was anticipating.
It's been a long time since I've played a full set anywhere. I feel kind of rusty and out of practice. I kept making stupid mistakes, and then mentally obsessing over them, which led to more careless mistakes. I hate that feeling. And even though this show was at The Locals, a really great restaurant that I play at all the time, I was stressing about it all week. I think I psyched myself out.
Which brings me to another point. It didn't really resonate with me until Ryan (who I train with) said something to me during our workout on thursday. He said that after diet, keeping my stress level low was probably the most important part to weight loss. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured that's probably true.
The past two weeks have been a lot more stress than I've encountered since I started on this adventure. I've had 2 majorly bad things happen at work that have stressed me out. There was this concert. And then there was my sister's wedding, and all the financial familial anxiety that goes along with that. And, truth be told, I have not been as dilligent with my eating or my working out in these past two weeks as I have in the previous weeks. My body is reacting as well. I'm sick, I'm exhausted.
Clearly I don't handle stress very well.
But that got me thinking. Am I really subconsciously eating because I'm stressed? Or am I using that stress as an excuse to eat poorly?
It's like the kids I work with at my job. Some of them are on ADHD medication. And sometimes their parents forget to give them those medications. Some kids use that as an excuse to be absolutely off the wall, when, in reality, they are completely cognisant of their actions and simply choose not to control themselves since they have an excuse.
I did have a pretty healthy day yesterday. I think that was mostly because my herbalife coach, Josh showed up to see me play at my show last night. There just seemed to be something so wrong with ordering a burger and fries (which was what I wanted to order at the Locals last night- granted, it's all farm fresh beef from the area and all that) with my coach sitting accross from me. So I had a grilled chicken ceasar salad. I don't think I will ever get used to salads. nope nope nope.
Regardless of my healthy day yesterday, I have a sinking feeling that this week's weigh in may also be a little disappointing. I've just got to once again re-focus, re-commit, and stop with the excuses this week! Stress be damned!
But I mean, aside from this being an excuse, food really is how I tend to de-stress. I just check out, relax, and eat crappy food for a little while. I've tried other things. Spa nights, spending time with friends, reading, being crafty, playing music. Sometimes none of that works though. So I guess, once again, I'll as all of you out there. What do you do to de-stress? What's your go to, fail safe, when your back is against the wall and absolutely nothing else will work?
So hmm, where to start. Well on Thursday, I went back to Laidback Fitness for another kick butt workout. This one was my third, and while the workouts are definitely challenging, and I am sore afterwards, it is a good kind of sore (if there is a good kind of sore), where I still am able to function. Even though they are tough and at the end I am sweaty and exhausted, I really look forward to these sessions. I already feel stronger, if that makes any sense. And I always leave feeling like I really got the most out of my workout that day.
Other than that I've been taking it pretty easy on the workout front. I've learned that if you work out really hard a couple of days a week, you can get by doing smaller things the rest of the week. So I go for walks. I teach a dance class that is mostly just jumping around with the kids at the daycare. And yesterday I played a show, which was more of a workout than I was anticipating.
It's been a long time since I've played a full set anywhere. I feel kind of rusty and out of practice. I kept making stupid mistakes, and then mentally obsessing over them, which led to more careless mistakes. I hate that feeling. And even though this show was at The Locals, a really great restaurant that I play at all the time, I was stressing about it all week. I think I psyched myself out.
Which brings me to another point. It didn't really resonate with me until Ryan (who I train with) said something to me during our workout on thursday. He said that after diet, keeping my stress level low was probably the most important part to weight loss. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured that's probably true.
The past two weeks have been a lot more stress than I've encountered since I started on this adventure. I've had 2 majorly bad things happen at work that have stressed me out. There was this concert. And then there was my sister's wedding, and all the financial familial anxiety that goes along with that. And, truth be told, I have not been as dilligent with my eating or my working out in these past two weeks as I have in the previous weeks. My body is reacting as well. I'm sick, I'm exhausted.
Clearly I don't handle stress very well.
But that got me thinking. Am I really subconsciously eating because I'm stressed? Or am I using that stress as an excuse to eat poorly?
It's like the kids I work with at my job. Some of them are on ADHD medication. And sometimes their parents forget to give them those medications. Some kids use that as an excuse to be absolutely off the wall, when, in reality, they are completely cognisant of their actions and simply choose not to control themselves since they have an excuse.
I did have a pretty healthy day yesterday. I think that was mostly because my herbalife coach, Josh showed up to see me play at my show last night. There just seemed to be something so wrong with ordering a burger and fries (which was what I wanted to order at the Locals last night- granted, it's all farm fresh beef from the area and all that) with my coach sitting accross from me. So I had a grilled chicken ceasar salad. I don't think I will ever get used to salads. nope nope nope.
Regardless of my healthy day yesterday, I have a sinking feeling that this week's weigh in may also be a little disappointing. I've just got to once again re-focus, re-commit, and stop with the excuses this week! Stress be damned!
But I mean, aside from this being an excuse, food really is how I tend to de-stress. I just check out, relax, and eat crappy food for a little while. I've tried other things. Spa nights, spending time with friends, reading, being crafty, playing music. Sometimes none of that works though. So I guess, once again, I'll as all of you out there. What do you do to de-stress? What's your go to, fail safe, when your back is against the wall and absolutely nothing else will work?
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
045: Dear Carbohydrates
Dear Carbohydrates,
I think it's time you and I had a talk. There are some things we need to work out.
You and I have had a relationship for as long as I can remember. And we both know I love you. A lot. Almost too much for my own good. You are comforting, and delicious, and you've been there for everything. For the good times, and the bad. You're a part of so many things that I love. It's hard to picture my life without you.
But, for a long time, our relationship has slowly been becoming a negative one. You know. People talk. So many people in my life, and in society, just do not want us to be together. They say you're bad for me. And deep down, I know they are right. I mean, in the long run, you are definitely hurting me more than you are helping me.
And I've seen how you treat other women. It's really not fair that some women fair way better in your company than me. This was my one major problem with the WB tv show Gilmore Girls. I loved that show but come on. Those two women were all about carbs. Carbs carbs carbs. That's all they ever ate. I understand that they are fictional characters but their superhuman metabolisms made me green with envy for years. But it's not just them. There are just some women who can eat whatever they want, and never gain an ounce. (Sorry, but those women suck.) And I think I'm always going to be jealous of other women like that, Carbohydrates. It's just how I am.
But it's just so difficult to give you up completely. (I wish I knew how to quit you!) Because even though my head knows you're bad for me, my heart (er, stomach) can't help remembering the good times. The deliciousness.
So I guess this is an ultimatum, carbohydrates. We need to work on our relationship. We need to find healthier ways of co-existing. Because you're not going away, and neither am I. And I'm not getting any younger. It's only going to get worse if I just keep glossing over all of the information that points out all of your glaring flaws. We've got to fix them. Now.
I hope we understand each other.
Sincerely,
Jenny W.
(Author's note: This is what sleep depravation and heavy allergy medication will do to you.)
(Author's other note: I was definitely eating a brownie while writing this letter. And hating myself for it.)
I think it's time you and I had a talk. There are some things we need to work out.
You and I have had a relationship for as long as I can remember. And we both know I love you. A lot. Almost too much for my own good. You are comforting, and delicious, and you've been there for everything. For the good times, and the bad. You're a part of so many things that I love. It's hard to picture my life without you.
But, for a long time, our relationship has slowly been becoming a negative one. You know. People talk. So many people in my life, and in society, just do not want us to be together. They say you're bad for me. And deep down, I know they are right. I mean, in the long run, you are definitely hurting me more than you are helping me.
And I've seen how you treat other women. It's really not fair that some women fair way better in your company than me. This was my one major problem with the WB tv show Gilmore Girls. I loved that show but come on. Those two women were all about carbs. Carbs carbs carbs. That's all they ever ate. I understand that they are fictional characters but their superhuman metabolisms made me green with envy for years. But it's not just them. There are just some women who can eat whatever they want, and never gain an ounce. (Sorry, but those women suck.) And I think I'm always going to be jealous of other women like that, Carbohydrates. It's just how I am.
But it's just so difficult to give you up completely. (I wish I knew how to quit you!) Because even though my head knows you're bad for me, my heart (er, stomach) can't help remembering the good times. The deliciousness.
So I guess this is an ultimatum, carbohydrates. We need to work on our relationship. We need to find healthier ways of co-existing. Because you're not going away, and neither am I. And I'm not getting any younger. It's only going to get worse if I just keep glossing over all of the information that points out all of your glaring flaws. We've got to fix them. Now.
I hope we understand each other.
Sincerely,
Jenny W.
(Author's note: This is what sleep depravation and heavy allergy medication will do to you.)
(Author's other note: I was definitely eating a brownie while writing this letter. And hating myself for it.)
Monday, May 14, 2012
044: Hello, Plateau
Well folks, it's finally happened.
Today at my weigh and measure, I checked in with zero lost (and zero gained, to look on the bright side) and one measly inch off my body. Granted, that inch was on my lower abs, which is an area I've really been trying to target, but still. It's finally happened.
I have reached the first plateau.
Here's what's dangerous about plateaus- they should make me feel like pushing harder, digging deeper, and working more dilligently towards my goal. But folks, that has never been me.
The truth is, I was a straight B student who probably could have been a straight A student if I had EVER cracked a book. I give up on absolutely anything if it doesn't come quickly and effortlessly to me. That's why I never played sports. It wasn't something I had a natural talent for, so I just didn't care. Same thing with guitar. I learned to the point that it became difficult, and then I quit. This has been the pattern of my whole life. I mean, even with dieting, I have given up so many times when the weight hasn't fallen off easily.
And while you would think being aware of this behavior would be enough, you would be pretty wrong. Even today, I ate poorly despite today being not a cheat day. And at my workout with my personal trainer, I found myself frustrated and wanting to get up and walk out when things got tough. That's kind of my MO.
But nothing that's worth it ever comes easily, I suppose. That's something I'm slowly learning as I get older. And I have a great support system of people cheering me on (if you're reading this, you're one of those people! So thanks!). As much as I hate struggling with something, I hate letting people down even more. So I'm obviously not done.
It's just so hard to stay motivated when it seems like you're spinning your wheels and wasting your time. What do you do to get motivated? How do you all move past these roadblocks that seem to get in everyone's way from time to time? Because I've never moved past one. I usually turn and run in the other direction...
Today at my weigh and measure, I checked in with zero lost (and zero gained, to look on the bright side) and one measly inch off my body. Granted, that inch was on my lower abs, which is an area I've really been trying to target, but still. It's finally happened.
I have reached the first plateau.
Here's what's dangerous about plateaus- they should make me feel like pushing harder, digging deeper, and working more dilligently towards my goal. But folks, that has never been me.
The truth is, I was a straight B student who probably could have been a straight A student if I had EVER cracked a book. I give up on absolutely anything if it doesn't come quickly and effortlessly to me. That's why I never played sports. It wasn't something I had a natural talent for, so I just didn't care. Same thing with guitar. I learned to the point that it became difficult, and then I quit. This has been the pattern of my whole life. I mean, even with dieting, I have given up so many times when the weight hasn't fallen off easily.
And while you would think being aware of this behavior would be enough, you would be pretty wrong. Even today, I ate poorly despite today being not a cheat day. And at my workout with my personal trainer, I found myself frustrated and wanting to get up and walk out when things got tough. That's kind of my MO.
But nothing that's worth it ever comes easily, I suppose. That's something I'm slowly learning as I get older. And I have a great support system of people cheering me on (if you're reading this, you're one of those people! So thanks!). As much as I hate struggling with something, I hate letting people down even more. So I'm obviously not done.
It's just so hard to stay motivated when it seems like you're spinning your wheels and wasting your time. What do you do to get motivated? How do you all move past these roadblocks that seem to get in everyone's way from time to time? Because I've never moved past one. I usually turn and run in the other direction...
Friday, May 11, 2012
043: And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.
So today, I was going to write a love/hate letter to carbohydrates (more on THAT later) but instead, my tshirts came in! For those of you who don't know I have an AMAZING little sister who, to get money for college, started her own business. Yeah. That's right. She is a very talented designer who started her own t-shirt company called <a href="http://www.monstrocitees.spreadshirt.com">monstroci-tees </a> while most high school kids are off making their coins slinging fries at mcdonalds. There are no words for how proud I am of her.
Well, on a whim (since that's how I do most things) I bought 2 of her shirts. In a size "Large". That's right. No X's there. Not even one. I haven't been X-free since high school. But I figured what the hell. I'm almost as thin as I was in high school. So I tried them on and took some pictures of myself, fresh from the gym, with no makeup on, for my "after" pictures.
Be warned. Even sweaty and with no makeup/hair prep, I still look pretty smokin. I'm just saying.
So. Without further ado. Here's the befores:
That's March 4th. 260 lbs.
May 10th. 228 Lbs (ish)
Well, on a whim (since that's how I do most things) I bought 2 of her shirts. In a size "Large". That's right. No X's there. Not even one. I haven't been X-free since high school. But I figured what the hell. I'm almost as thin as I was in high school. So I tried them on and took some pictures of myself, fresh from the gym, with no makeup on, for my "after" pictures.
Be warned. Even sweaty and with no makeup/hair prep, I still look pretty smokin. I'm just saying.
So. Without further ado. Here's the befores:
That's March 4th. 260 lbs.
And the afters:
May 10th. 228 Lbs (ish)
And I'm starting to see the difference. For real. Looking at that before picture makes me feel so upset. So hateful and disappointed in myself. So sad. But at the same time it fires me up. Because I am never. NEVER. Going back there again.
And, in a few months, I'll be saying that about these pictures. I should have ordered smaller tshirts.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
042: My first workout with the caveman
Hey everybody out there. So yesterday, I actually did manage to clean my apartment, which was awesome since I found two belts (which, believe it or not, I desperately need.) One of them is from high school, and I haven't really used it in like 4 years (using a belt on loop one or 2 is depressing, because then it basically feels like the stupid belt doesn't even fit you). So I tried on the belt. When I was in good shape like.... 4 years ago (well, okay shape. I haven't been in good shape in such a long time) the belt was on loop 4 or 5. And today?
Loop 6. Comfortably. I could even stretch and get to loop 7, if I really wanted to.
It was one of those hell yeah moments where I danced around my freshly clean room fist pumping while my cat looked embarrassed for me.
Anyway. Today after work, I visited with my mum for a bit and then headed over to Laidback Fitness on Warwick Ave for my training session with Ryan. Ryan and his wife, Laurie read my blog. Also they are pretty cool people. :)
So I met up with them and embarked on my new training adventure. I have to say, after the training disaster from last week, I went in with my apprehensions, for sure. This apprehension didn't exactly go away when we took off our shoes to work out. Working out barefoot? Crazy.
However, Ryan was awesome, and I really felt like I got a great workout that was supportive, and worked well with where I am at right now in my fitness abilities. We did all kinds of pretty strange exercises (stirring the pot? monkey banging the drum? inchworms?) but at the end of the day I for sure feel like I got some solid resistance that could really help me even as I go about my own independent workouts, and my heart rate got up there too, which is pretty surprising. I broke a good sweat and my legs don't feel like they are going to break off, which is always a plus.
Ryan's philosophy deals a lot with "primal fitness". The idea is basically that there weren't a lot of obese cave people, and there aren't many obese people living in jungle tribes. They generally have good physique and look happy. Which makes sense, if you think about it. So that's where the barefoot working out comes from. When cavemen were, you know, hunting the tyrannosaurus or whatever, they probably didn't wear cross trainers.
(Please note that I have no idea what cavemen hunted. I have absolutely no interest in history whatsoever)
In addition to the whole barefoot thing, the laid-back fitness approach uses very little equipment (not a lot of nautilus machines or ellipticals in the jurassic age either). I was a little skeptical, you know, with my preconceived notions about cardio and keeping my heart rate up. But there was definitely plenty of that.
There's also a gigantic shopping list and nutritional program, which isn't really something I'm looking to incorporate right this moment, since right now herbalife works and if it's not broken, I'm probably not going to mess with it, you know? But it's nice to also have that to fall back on if I hit a plateau and need to up my diet stakes a little.
Bottom line: It was a night and day experience by comparison. The whole approach is great for people who are just starting out (or for people who are fit too, I'd think) I ended up making an appointment to work out with Ryan again on Monday at 11:30. I think that stuff like this is a lot about finding the right fit, and so far, it seems like this might (fingers crossed) actually work? Yeah for getting in shape.
(But if I ever start running around the woods barefoot or eating raw alligator, someone can probably pull me back from this regimen. )
Tonight I am going to be dancing with the kids at work too. It's going to be a good fitness day. Take that, earlier in the week when I had no motivation at all!
Loop 6. Comfortably. I could even stretch and get to loop 7, if I really wanted to.
It was one of those hell yeah moments where I danced around my freshly clean room fist pumping while my cat looked embarrassed for me.
Anyway. Today after work, I visited with my mum for a bit and then headed over to Laidback Fitness on Warwick Ave for my training session with Ryan. Ryan and his wife, Laurie read my blog. Also they are pretty cool people. :)
So I met up with them and embarked on my new training adventure. I have to say, after the training disaster from last week, I went in with my apprehensions, for sure. This apprehension didn't exactly go away when we took off our shoes to work out. Working out barefoot? Crazy.
However, Ryan was awesome, and I really felt like I got a great workout that was supportive, and worked well with where I am at right now in my fitness abilities. We did all kinds of pretty strange exercises (stirring the pot? monkey banging the drum? inchworms?) but at the end of the day I for sure feel like I got some solid resistance that could really help me even as I go about my own independent workouts, and my heart rate got up there too, which is pretty surprising. I broke a good sweat and my legs don't feel like they are going to break off, which is always a plus.
Ryan's philosophy deals a lot with "primal fitness". The idea is basically that there weren't a lot of obese cave people, and there aren't many obese people living in jungle tribes. They generally have good physique and look happy. Which makes sense, if you think about it. So that's where the barefoot working out comes from. When cavemen were, you know, hunting the tyrannosaurus or whatever, they probably didn't wear cross trainers.
(Please note that I have no idea what cavemen hunted. I have absolutely no interest in history whatsoever)
In addition to the whole barefoot thing, the laid-back fitness approach uses very little equipment (not a lot of nautilus machines or ellipticals in the jurassic age either). I was a little skeptical, you know, with my preconceived notions about cardio and keeping my heart rate up. But there was definitely plenty of that.
There's also a gigantic shopping list and nutritional program, which isn't really something I'm looking to incorporate right this moment, since right now herbalife works and if it's not broken, I'm probably not going to mess with it, you know? But it's nice to also have that to fall back on if I hit a plateau and need to up my diet stakes a little.
Bottom line: It was a night and day experience by comparison. The whole approach is great for people who are just starting out (or for people who are fit too, I'd think) I ended up making an appointment to work out with Ryan again on Monday at 11:30. I think that stuff like this is a lot about finding the right fit, and so far, it seems like this might (fingers crossed) actually work? Yeah for getting in shape.
(But if I ever start running around the woods barefoot or eating raw alligator, someone can probably pull me back from this regimen. )
Tonight I am going to be dancing with the kids at work too. It's going to be a good fitness day. Take that, earlier in the week when I had no motivation at all!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
041: Back to reality after a vacation from life.
Well kids, I am back from Wedding land. After my weigh in on Sunday, I sort of gave in to the wedding whirlwind. I had a great time. My sister was a beautiful bride. Everyone had a wonderful time, and, might I add, a lot of people are starting to notice all the work I've been putting in. Plus , my pants are officially insanely big on me. Which sucks, since I am sort of between sizes at the moment, but I still think a shopping trip, at least for pants, is around the corner. And I'm going to get pants altered, except for one pair which I'm going to keep as my "before pants".
So I pretty much took a 3 day vacation from obsessing over food and calories and portions. It was really nice to turn that part of my brain off for three days, but I think it will probably affect my weigh in a little. Lets see, there was:
Rehearsal dinner= delicious food (that wasn't on my diet) and some pinot grigio
Day of the Wedding= lots of running around (and as a result, a trip to the drive-thru)
Wedding= Champagne, Champagne, Champagne, Pinot, Pinot, Pinot, cake, candies, and a delicious buffet (that wasn't on my diet)
Day after the wedding= Hangover foods and lots of napping (and thusly not much working out)
Which brings us to today, which is me starting back up on herbalife. I thought about going to the gym today, but since I am meeting with my trainer tomorrow (and since I pretty dutifully went to the gym on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and danced my shrinking butt off on Monday night), I felt that a day off was in order. I am, instead, going to clean my very messy room and organize my closet and bookshelves. (Who am I kidding? By "clean and organize", I mean I'm going to read and watch trashy tv on Hulu.)
Also worth noting this week, I am trying to put together a social group for my female blogger friends (and non-blogger friends) who are trying to slim down. I feel like it will be nice to have a group of girls to get together with for fun adventures who know what each other is going through. Plus I love introducing people to new friends. I'm pretty excited.
I guess that's it for now. I thought I would have more to say, but hulu and the hunger games are waiting for me. :)
Before and after pictures will be happening literally the second I get some HQ wedding photos.
So I pretty much took a 3 day vacation from obsessing over food and calories and portions. It was really nice to turn that part of my brain off for three days, but I think it will probably affect my weigh in a little. Lets see, there was:
Rehearsal dinner= delicious food (that wasn't on my diet) and some pinot grigio
Day of the Wedding= lots of running around (and as a result, a trip to the drive-thru)
Wedding= Champagne, Champagne, Champagne, Pinot, Pinot, Pinot, cake, candies, and a delicious buffet (that wasn't on my diet)
Day after the wedding= Hangover foods and lots of napping (and thusly not much working out)
Which brings us to today, which is me starting back up on herbalife. I thought about going to the gym today, but since I am meeting with my trainer tomorrow (and since I pretty dutifully went to the gym on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and danced my shrinking butt off on Monday night), I felt that a day off was in order. I am, instead, going to clean my very messy room and organize my closet and bookshelves. (Who am I kidding? By "clean and organize", I mean I'm going to read and watch trashy tv on Hulu.)
Also worth noting this week, I am trying to put together a social group for my female blogger friends (and non-blogger friends) who are trying to slim down. I feel like it will be nice to have a group of girls to get together with for fun adventures who know what each other is going through. Plus I love introducing people to new friends. I'm pretty excited.
I guess that's it for now. I thought I would have more to say, but hulu and the hunger games are waiting for me. :)
Before and after pictures will be happening literally the second I get some HQ wedding photos.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
040: 32 Down. 88 to go!
So, again, thanks so much to eveyone for your advice in overcoming my muscle strain. As someone who has never really worked out before now, it was really tough to get over it, but today I woke up and my legs felt quasi normal. I even was able to get back on my beloved eliptical machine, which is my favorite thing to workout on. Hopefully after my sister's wedding tomorrow I will officially be able to get back into my normal routine.
Still, even being injured and unable to really push myself this week, I did manage to lose 3 lbs. So I have lost 32 lbs total and have 88 left. 8 pounds until I'm a third of the way to my goal. And I've been working at this for less than 2 months. It's kind of crazy to think how quickly this is all going by. I was looking at some pictures at my mom's house from about 2 weeks before I started herbalife. I'm going to post them with some wedding photos this week. I didn't realize until I saw those picutres just how much my body has changed. I cannot say enough good things about herbalife. With a little moderate excercise its changing me, and my life so much.
Gosh, it's tough to blog when my mind is so bogged down with wedding stuff. The wedding will be interesting, having the chance to see a lot of people I haven't seen since before I started getting in shape. It will also be full of lots of delicious and alcoholic temptations. So for now, this teeny tiny mini blog will have to do. I will for sure write a more in depth one on Tuesday after the wedding.
Still, even being injured and unable to really push myself this week, I did manage to lose 3 lbs. So I have lost 32 lbs total and have 88 left. 8 pounds until I'm a third of the way to my goal. And I've been working at this for less than 2 months. It's kind of crazy to think how quickly this is all going by. I was looking at some pictures at my mom's house from about 2 weeks before I started herbalife. I'm going to post them with some wedding photos this week. I didn't realize until I saw those picutres just how much my body has changed. I cannot say enough good things about herbalife. With a little moderate excercise its changing me, and my life so much.
Gosh, it's tough to blog when my mind is so bogged down with wedding stuff. The wedding will be interesting, having the chance to see a lot of people I haven't seen since before I started getting in shape. It will also be full of lots of delicious and alcoholic temptations. So for now, this teeny tiny mini blog will have to do. I will for sure write a more in depth one on Tuesday after the wedding.
Friday, May 4, 2012
039: A little better all the time.
So since my last entry, I went to bed and had a nightmare that I went to my herbalife weigh in on Sunday and I had gained back 7 pounds and my coach yelled at me in front of everyone. This, of course, is completely irrational. I highly doubt that my coach would yell at me, and I highly doubt I have eaten enough to put on 7 pounds in a week. But I felt so guilty about hitting the drive through an not working out yesterday that my mind went crazy I guess.
Some of you think I'm too hard on myself. And maybe you're right. But the fact of the matter is, if I listened to my body, I would probably never go to the gym, or eat healthy. I'm still waiting for my mind and body to come around to this new way of thinking. It takes 3 months for your brain to adjust to change this big, and until then, I have to struggle and force myself to do it, or this house of cards adventure I'm on will be shot to shit. I am in this for the long haul.
Anyway. Today I woke up and my legs still hurt. Maybe not as badly as before, but still, really bad. Working out didn't seem to be an option, and with the wedding coming up and my recent slip, it HAD to be an option. I was trying to figure out what to do when I got some GREAT reader advice from Ryan at <a href="http://www.laidbackfitness.com">Laid Back Fitness</a>. I have been reading his blog and watching his videos. I really love the philosophy behind laid back fitness. Something that resonated with me was when he said that People don't go easily enough on themselves when they are having a light workout, and don't work out hard enough when they are pushing themselves. I think that's really true. I think that if I had been pushing myself hard enough in my self guided workouts, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. In any event, I took his advice and walked today, and tried to do maybe 60 percent of my workout. I worked out my arms and walked on the treadmill, and then took a steam bath to sweat out my toxins and some of that water weight I am sure I was holding onto from my unhealthy lunch. It felt really good. My legs seem to hurt less now and are cooperating a lot better than they were this morning, and while my heart rate was definitely not high enough, and I only burned probably 75 percent of the calories I normally do, but it was all I could do, and I accepted that. And it was better than staying home once again.
So all of this has led me to going in for a meet and greet at Laid Back Fitness, and maybe seeing about doing some personal training with them. I'm pretty excited. I hope it will be a good fit. Another reader pointed out that it's really tough to find a good trainer, in the same way that it's tough to find a good therapist. You need to find someone who understands exactly what you want to get out of it, what your limitations are, and what approach works best for you. Which is so true!
Tonight I also convinced my roommate and her boyfriend to eat a healthy dinner with me, which I considered a triumph since they are the biggest junk food junkies. Well, my roommate goes through alternating health nut and junk food phases. Her boyfriend just eats like a dude. I made a salad and some 150 calorie whole wheat pizzas, and they loved it. I was pretty psyched. It can definitely be tough coming home and having an herbalife shake while they are enjoying ice cream and pizza and mozzerella sticks on a (literally) nightly basis. But maybe they will come around and enjoy a salad with me every once ina while.
Ice cream is still more delicious.
This week, and the next three days will be a marathon of hair appointments, nail appointments, tanning, and last minute gym sessions, hoping to tone up just a smidge more before the wedding. And the wedding photos, which I will totally post with a hideous "before" photo so you guys can see if there's any difference. Thanks again for all of your gym/nutrition advice, and encouragement. (And thanks especially to Maggie for the lovely card!)
Some of you think I'm too hard on myself. And maybe you're right. But the fact of the matter is, if I listened to my body, I would probably never go to the gym, or eat healthy. I'm still waiting for my mind and body to come around to this new way of thinking. It takes 3 months for your brain to adjust to change this big, and until then, I have to struggle and force myself to do it, or this house of cards adventure I'm on will be shot to shit. I am in this for the long haul.
Anyway. Today I woke up and my legs still hurt. Maybe not as badly as before, but still, really bad. Working out didn't seem to be an option, and with the wedding coming up and my recent slip, it HAD to be an option. I was trying to figure out what to do when I got some GREAT reader advice from Ryan at <a href="http://www.laidbackfitness.com">Laid Back Fitness</a>. I have been reading his blog and watching his videos. I really love the philosophy behind laid back fitness. Something that resonated with me was when he said that People don't go easily enough on themselves when they are having a light workout, and don't work out hard enough when they are pushing themselves. I think that's really true. I think that if I had been pushing myself hard enough in my self guided workouts, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. In any event, I took his advice and walked today, and tried to do maybe 60 percent of my workout. I worked out my arms and walked on the treadmill, and then took a steam bath to sweat out my toxins and some of that water weight I am sure I was holding onto from my unhealthy lunch. It felt really good. My legs seem to hurt less now and are cooperating a lot better than they were this morning, and while my heart rate was definitely not high enough, and I only burned probably 75 percent of the calories I normally do, but it was all I could do, and I accepted that. And it was better than staying home once again.
So all of this has led me to going in for a meet and greet at Laid Back Fitness, and maybe seeing about doing some personal training with them. I'm pretty excited. I hope it will be a good fit. Another reader pointed out that it's really tough to find a good trainer, in the same way that it's tough to find a good therapist. You need to find someone who understands exactly what you want to get out of it, what your limitations are, and what approach works best for you. Which is so true!
Tonight I also convinced my roommate and her boyfriend to eat a healthy dinner with me, which I considered a triumph since they are the biggest junk food junkies. Well, my roommate goes through alternating health nut and junk food phases. Her boyfriend just eats like a dude. I made a salad and some 150 calorie whole wheat pizzas, and they loved it. I was pretty psyched. It can definitely be tough coming home and having an herbalife shake while they are enjoying ice cream and pizza and mozzerella sticks on a (literally) nightly basis. But maybe they will come around and enjoy a salad with me every once ina while.
Ice cream is still more delicious.
This week, and the next three days will be a marathon of hair appointments, nail appointments, tanning, and last minute gym sessions, hoping to tone up just a smidge more before the wedding. And the wedding photos, which I will totally post with a hideous "before" photo so you guys can see if there's any difference. Thanks again for all of your gym/nutrition advice, and encouragement. (And thanks especially to Maggie for the lovely card!)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
038: The trainer problem continues
Today. Sucked.
I wanted to go to the gym today but when I woke up, my back and legs were KILLING me. I could barely move. It's only gotten worse as the day has gone on. The little girl I work with was actually mocking how I walked today, because it was so funny and pathetic. The only relief I got was when I had ice or heat on my legs, and then it didn't last long. So getting on an eliptical wasn't really an option.
It's starting to sink in that maybe this is not my fault. I wonder how many other out of shape people are injured and abused by trainers who have probably never been heavy in thier lives and don't know how to train someone who isn't already in shape. I mean we didn't even stretch before the workout. My leg muscles are really pulled, and I really hope tomorrow with some ibuprofen that I can work out. I can't miss another day.
Today was also just really stressful. Wedding stuff. All hell breaking loose at work. And as usual I resorted to some less than healthy eating to get through the really crappy day. It just wasn't a day for a salad. I really hope I can make up for it in time for the weigh in on sunday. I really would like to, at worst, stay the same. And I feel like going to the gym is pretty important to that goal.
I wanted to go to the gym today but when I woke up, my back and legs were KILLING me. I could barely move. It's only gotten worse as the day has gone on. The little girl I work with was actually mocking how I walked today, because it was so funny and pathetic. The only relief I got was when I had ice or heat on my legs, and then it didn't last long. So getting on an eliptical wasn't really an option.
It's starting to sink in that maybe this is not my fault. I wonder how many other out of shape people are injured and abused by trainers who have probably never been heavy in thier lives and don't know how to train someone who isn't already in shape. I mean we didn't even stretch before the workout. My leg muscles are really pulled, and I really hope tomorrow with some ibuprofen that I can work out. I can't miss another day.
Today was also just really stressful. Wedding stuff. All hell breaking loose at work. And as usual I resorted to some less than healthy eating to get through the really crappy day. It just wasn't a day for a salad. I really hope I can make up for it in time for the weigh in on sunday. I really would like to, at worst, stay the same. And I feel like going to the gym is pretty important to that goal.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
037: Personal Trainers= sadists.
Well kids, today I met with my personal trainer.
I feel... well.... have any of you seen that episode of "How I Met Your Mother" where Barney Stinson runs in the New York Marathon without any preparation? I tried to find a clip of this on youtube, but could only find one dubbed in Italian or Spanish or something. Anyway. On a bet, Barney runs in the NYC marathon with no prep and actually finishes. Then later, he finds himself trapped on the subway when his legs don't work and he's sort of flailing around ridiculously trying to move his dead, tired legs. It's all very funny.
It's much less funny in real life however.
I can barely walk. I can barely move. I am currently writing this blog with a heating pad on my back hoping that this is gone in the morning, because I have shit to do. I legitimately contemplated crawling up the stairs to my apartment. The only thing that stopped me was how disgusting and ghetto my apartment stairwell is. No telling what diseases I might catch from that shit.
Anyway, let me back up.
Today I finally got a chance to do a fitness assessment and 1/2 hour training session with a personal trainer at my gym. My trainer, Nick, looked visibly disappointed to see a fat person walking towards his desk this morning, but I think he truly perked up when I told him I go to the gym 5 days a week and have lost 30 lbs in 6 weeks. We talked a bit about my workout habits, my goals, and my diet, and then hit the gym.
Holy. Crap.
I know he meant well asking how I felt after every excercise, and how every excercise felt. But finally, I felt the need to tell him, when he asked how kettlebell lunges felt, "Hard! They are effing hard and they hurt!" Come on. As a trainer, you have to know that. He even went so far as to say that most people can't finish the first session, adn that he was really impressed that I could. And I mean, I did finish it. But I think my legs might actually shrivel up and break off, so I guess there was some compromises involved.
We did lunges and squats galore. We did a lot of ab work, including this one form of crunches where my legs are in teh air at a 90 degree angle and he puts weights on my calves before I do the crunches. I kid you not. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? What crazy sadistic asshole found himself thinking "let's stack weights on peoples shins and see if they can still do crunches. That would be a good idea."
People at the gym suck for thinking things like this. Personal trainers especially suck.
I really really hope I haven't seriously fucked up my back or legs. I need to keep working out to get in the best possible shape before this wedding that I'm going to be in on monday. That's when I will be taking pictures, for those of you who keep asking me when you'll get to see pictures. I still don't really see a huge difference, but people are starting to notice, so maybe you will too. I hope you will. The camera does add 5 lbs, you know. My hopes are not super high. And again, thanks so much for continuing to read. The fact that anyone is reading this is seriously keeping me going and keeping me accountable on days when I want to quit. You guys rule.
Also, does anybody have any better remedies for pulled muscles in your back and legs than heat? I really want to get back out there tomorrow. And at the moment that does not seem like a possibility. Damn trainers.
I feel... well.... have any of you seen that episode of "How I Met Your Mother" where Barney Stinson runs in the New York Marathon without any preparation? I tried to find a clip of this on youtube, but could only find one dubbed in Italian or Spanish or something. Anyway. On a bet, Barney runs in the NYC marathon with no prep and actually finishes. Then later, he finds himself trapped on the subway when his legs don't work and he's sort of flailing around ridiculously trying to move his dead, tired legs. It's all very funny.
It's much less funny in real life however.
I can barely walk. I can barely move. I am currently writing this blog with a heating pad on my back hoping that this is gone in the morning, because I have shit to do. I legitimately contemplated crawling up the stairs to my apartment. The only thing that stopped me was how disgusting and ghetto my apartment stairwell is. No telling what diseases I might catch from that shit.
Anyway, let me back up.
Today I finally got a chance to do a fitness assessment and 1/2 hour training session with a personal trainer at my gym. My trainer, Nick, looked visibly disappointed to see a fat person walking towards his desk this morning, but I think he truly perked up when I told him I go to the gym 5 days a week and have lost 30 lbs in 6 weeks. We talked a bit about my workout habits, my goals, and my diet, and then hit the gym.
Holy. Crap.
I know he meant well asking how I felt after every excercise, and how every excercise felt. But finally, I felt the need to tell him, when he asked how kettlebell lunges felt, "Hard! They are effing hard and they hurt!" Come on. As a trainer, you have to know that. He even went so far as to say that most people can't finish the first session, adn that he was really impressed that I could. And I mean, I did finish it. But I think my legs might actually shrivel up and break off, so I guess there was some compromises involved.
We did lunges and squats galore. We did a lot of ab work, including this one form of crunches where my legs are in teh air at a 90 degree angle and he puts weights on my calves before I do the crunches. I kid you not. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? What crazy sadistic asshole found himself thinking "let's stack weights on peoples shins and see if they can still do crunches. That would be a good idea."
People at the gym suck for thinking things like this. Personal trainers especially suck.
I really really hope I haven't seriously fucked up my back or legs. I need to keep working out to get in the best possible shape before this wedding that I'm going to be in on monday. That's when I will be taking pictures, for those of you who keep asking me when you'll get to see pictures. I still don't really see a huge difference, but people are starting to notice, so maybe you will too. I hope you will. The camera does add 5 lbs, you know. My hopes are not super high. And again, thanks so much for continuing to read. The fact that anyone is reading this is seriously keeping me going and keeping me accountable on days when I want to quit. You guys rule.
Also, does anybody have any better remedies for pulled muscles in your back and legs than heat? I really want to get back out there tomorrow. And at the moment that does not seem like a possibility. Damn trainers.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
036:Suntans, smiles, and the injustice of shrinking tits.
Well kids, tanning sucks. I am not that tan, and my skin is insanely dry. I feel like I might need to contact Pauly D directly and ask for advice.
Other than my skin hurting from being so dry, today was good. I got in a really good workout. I can really feel my arms, legs, and abs getting stronger. My lower abs continue to give me troubles, but I am meeting with a personal trainer to work on that specific area tomorrow, so that should be good. And by good I mean tears/vomit inducing. But still productive.
Then today, on my way out of my office at work, one of the women from the shelter, who I see from time to time coming to our food pantry, yelled out of her car window "Sugar, you look fabulous! What's your secret?"
I told her, and she was super congratulatory. Granted this woman was probably drunk, high, or some combination of the two (she is the same woman who I once kicked out of the food pantry for being too drunk, and she kissed me on the mouth) but it was still nice to hear that people are noticing.
Oh, and I'm sure many of you are curious to know about the dress fitting. My dress fits like a glove almost everywhere. The only place where it's a bit loose is the tits region. This is a problem since it's actually a strapless dress. But this was sort of to be expected, since I did lose 1.25 inches off my bust this week.
Can I just say that I think this is one of those incredibly unfair "fuck you's" from the universe? As heavy ladies go, there is not much we've all got going for us. The one thing we all seem to be endowed with is an ample rack. And then, we decide to tone up a little, and before all the areas we WANT to shrink get smaller, the one area we want to stay the same shrinks. Eff that. My whole family is an a/b cup and I've really enjoyed being the lone C cup. But it looks like washboard chestville is where I'm headed, and fast.
Anyway, this is a smidge disjointed tonight, since I'm rather sleepy, but I wanted to keep you all posted. Hopefully things will die down after this wedding and I can get back to a more well organized routine. For now though, I just want to say thanks to the people who are still reading along with me, and to the ladies I know out there who are working hard, keep up the good work! Especially Sarah of http://www.twenty40.wordpress.com and stacy of http://www.ohhellostacy.blogspot.com . You ladies inspire me!
Other than my skin hurting from being so dry, today was good. I got in a really good workout. I can really feel my arms, legs, and abs getting stronger. My lower abs continue to give me troubles, but I am meeting with a personal trainer to work on that specific area tomorrow, so that should be good. And by good I mean tears/vomit inducing. But still productive.
Then today, on my way out of my office at work, one of the women from the shelter, who I see from time to time coming to our food pantry, yelled out of her car window "Sugar, you look fabulous! What's your secret?"
I told her, and she was super congratulatory. Granted this woman was probably drunk, high, or some combination of the two (she is the same woman who I once kicked out of the food pantry for being too drunk, and she kissed me on the mouth) but it was still nice to hear that people are noticing.
Oh, and I'm sure many of you are curious to know about the dress fitting. My dress fits like a glove almost everywhere. The only place where it's a bit loose is the tits region. This is a problem since it's actually a strapless dress. But this was sort of to be expected, since I did lose 1.25 inches off my bust this week.
Can I just say that I think this is one of those incredibly unfair "fuck you's" from the universe? As heavy ladies go, there is not much we've all got going for us. The one thing we all seem to be endowed with is an ample rack. And then, we decide to tone up a little, and before all the areas we WANT to shrink get smaller, the one area we want to stay the same shrinks. Eff that. My whole family is an a/b cup and I've really enjoyed being the lone C cup. But it looks like washboard chestville is where I'm headed, and fast.
Anyway, this is a smidge disjointed tonight, since I'm rather sleepy, but I wanted to keep you all posted. Hopefully things will die down after this wedding and I can get back to a more well organized routine. For now though, I just want to say thanks to the people who are still reading along with me, and to the ladies I know out there who are working hard, keep up the good work! Especially Sarah of http://www.twenty40.wordpress.com and stacy of http://www.ohhellostacy.blogspot.com . You ladies inspire me!
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