023: Please don't confront me with my failures... I had not forgotten them.

So. Yesterday I went on facebook. And I've decided to stay on facebook. I feel like I have enough going on now where I'm not going to spend all my time on it. I had my reasons for signing on and that's all there is to it. Sure it's 6 days early, but whatever.

What was really amazing to me was some of the reactions I got. The disappointment. The negativity. It was kind of ridiculous. Let me just be clear that the whole facebook challenge was just a sidebar to a much bigger adventure that I have put myself on. If I am on facebook a week early and still eating healthy and working out and losing weight, then that is what is really important, right?

This week has sucked. Especially last night. Iw as already feeling really down. Having trouble thinking positively. There are just days where it catches up with you. Days where you feel like nothing is ever really going to change. Because it never has before.

Some of you will never know how hard this is. To deal with an addiction you can never fully be rid of. To struggle with something that, either way, makes you feel insecure and vulnerable, and frustrated. To feel trapped in your own body and feel like a failure every time you slip up on a diet and excercise regimen that I am 99 percent sure that most "normal" women couldn't keep up with if they tried. Rest assured, I do not need your negativity or your admonishment. I am harder on myself than you could ever be on me.

Some friends will kick you when you're down. But real friends pick you up when you fall.

As for today, I am going to pour all of this frustration, and all of your negativity and my own into kicking my own butt at the gym. Time to get back on track.