I was hard pressed to come up with a topic today. Things went well yesterday. My coach was ecstatic about the weight loss, and she measured me (I lost 13 inches! Woohoo!). Today was good too. I went to the beach, and did my healthy food shopping (fruit and veggies and yogurt and almonds are my life now).
As I'm sitting here grilling my weeks worth of chicken and waiting for my laundry to dry, it hit me.
Bathing suits.
Yesterday was my nephew's first birthday party. It was a pool party. So I went swimming. I know this doesn't sound like a really big deal to all of you, but it is for me. Before this summer, I hadn't been in a bathing suit in front of other people in YEARS. At least 4 or so years. Why, you ask?
Well I figured I didn't like the way I looked in a swimsuit, so why subject other people to it? Of course, that meant giving up on swimming, which is something I really enjoy doing. But no more! Even though my brother-in-law has a stick for a sister who was rocking a bikini (in fact all the girls were rocking 2 piece suits except me) I went out there with my head held high and swam. (Is swam a word?)
I felt great- until pictures started circulating around facebook of me in a swimsuit. Oh, you didn't see them, you say? That's because I rapid-fire untagged them as soon as they came up. You know you do stuff like that too. We've all untagged unattractive pictures of ourselves. I just chalked it up to a little internal reminder that I still have a long way to go.
But then I read this article, <a href="http://www.ottawacitizen.com/sports/2012-summer-games/Aussie+swim+star+cruises+into+final+sending/7008119/story.html">where people are slamming this australian OLYMPIC SWIMMER for looking fat in her swimsuit</a>. And once again, I have to look around at the world and say ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?
How skinny does a person have to be to look good in a swimsuit? I personally think that the OLYMPIAN doesn't look fat. She looks muscular. And she could probably kick your ass, so I'd watch what I say, if I were you, mainstream media. She can't be more than a size 8, at best. And I'm sure she treats her body like a temple, and is the epitome of good health. So I ask again, at what point are we allowed to feel good about our bodies? Who should be "allowed" to wear swimsuits? And if they only look good on people who are a size 0, 2, or 4, then why make them in a size 20?
I wish we still wore swimsuits like <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtF_Jo0Mfy4VG2K7BV0GncRXWh29jxgGcAqUWWVG9Jkaw0kb-xU3xKkg8QUxphfIA9WPF4fKqGOrzXtndzibdYVYHMs9eBwRf6FXu3ndkPfb4B1MEV1VPcLom1I5B-9oW9xwHkmXjGstI/s1600/beauties.jpg">this</a>. Those chicks don't seem to have any problem with the way they look. Not one.
Jen, I don't even feel that comfortable in a 2 piece. usually, I wear the 2 piece and almost always wear a shirt over it and shorts. I'm even touchy about my bikini line and have worn shorts with my bathing suit and completely avoided water because of it. I think the only reason for me to wear a 2 piece is to "try" to tan my belly, if I feel like it. And usually when I lay on the beach to tan I leave my shirt on. I guess I wear it because it makes me feel sexy and because it's the socially expected thing to do - which is not a "good" reason but alas....what can you do?
ReplyDeletePeople should do what they feel comfortable doing regardless of size, age and body. So, do what you feel comfortable with!!
Glad the food is doing so well.
But if you feel sexy in it, why do you feel the need to cover it up, you know? I cover things because I feel insecure about them. And I feel like you're SO fit, if you can't feel confident about your petite frame in a bathing suit, then who can, realistically?
DeleteJenn, blogging is really essential to pushing through on your journey. Remember your progress to date and take one day at a time,each step you will see progress and those pictures will show so even if you don't share them keep them as a memory only of how you committed, decided, nd will succeed to improve your health!!!!As for how skinny does someone have to be to look good in a bathing suit, when you feel good and remember each steps forward is progress. Even with losing 115 pounds myself, its been a journey since November 2009, I still don't feel completely comfortable in swimsuit and I have significant transformation but I still working on my toning and fitness level. it's not about being 'skinny' its about being healthy and fit where you are comfortable and it's a complete lifestyle change,for LIFE!!!! Like Margaret I wear a two piece tankini and even as fit as I look I only lift my tankini to tan my stomach but not at point where I can walk around with a bikini and I may never be able to but I will continue on my path with goal of trying to!
ReplyDeleteHeidi, you are such an inspiration to me. It's amazing, all you've been through and the strength you've gained through tihs journey. I can't wait til you get back from your cruise so we can talk more about toning, since you seem to have something that reallyw orks for you! I totally agree that it's about being healthy and comfortable in your own skin, sometimes it just feels like I will never get to that point. I feel like women on the whole are trained to hate their bodies and imperfections so much, you know? Even if I get to a healthy weight, like y ou or margaret, it's crazy to think that nobody ever feels really good about their body.
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