058: More musings from workout world

Hey out there in blogland!


For those of you keeping track of the food journal, I know I haven't really followed through with my meals for the weekend, but I did do some cheating. I'm happy to say that yesterday I got back to my way strict during the week diet. So here goes:

7:00am- Herbalife shake and tea
11:00am- Herbalife shake, unsalted almonds, and a banana
2:30pm- Oikos strawberry yogurt
6:30pm- strawberries, carrot sticks, cucumber slices, 8oz of chicken, and 1/2 cup whole wheat pasta.

Im finding that I am soooo full at the end of dinner, I actually have no desire to do any late night snacking, which is nice.
So, as promised, I have decided to integrate more weights/toning/resistance/strength training type stuff into my workout. I get plenty of cardio at work, and I walk between 2 and 5 miles every day. But, as with most people who lose a considerable amount of weight, I'm encountering trouble getting my skin to bounce back and stay tight. Gross.

My arms and my abs are the most aggregious offenders. So I figured I should go back to the gym. I haven't been since my sister's wedding, and I do pay 20 dollars a month for a membership. So it's worth trying. Side note: I am always looking for workouts/tips and tricks to target my triceps/lower abs. If you have any, hit me with them!

I didn't go to the "nice gym" in East Providence, but rather the shitty north providence workout world. What is so shitty about it, you ask? Well first of all, I don't know what asshole puts a gym next to a mcdonalds, but they sure do have a sense of humor. Secondly, there's the "women's workout area", which is essentially 2 eliptical machines, a tower stack machine that doesn't work, half a dozen mismatched free weights, and some leg machines, all of which were occupied.

I don't know about you, but the last thing I want to see is a really hot in shape guy when I am struggling and sweating through my weight workout. (Note that since this is north providence, there weren't many hot guys, but rather the over-tanned, over worked out roid raging rejects from the jersey shore casting call, but still). I like the east providence gym since they have a lot of arm machines and an ab machine, as well as a ton of free weights and some mats to do stretching/crunches/what have you- all in the women's gym. I feel so much more comfortable working out with only a bunch of judgemental bitchy ladies watching.

Needless to say, I only worked my arms out for about 20 minutes before hitting the road.

However, as I was working out, I had one moment even more embarassing than struggling to chest press 15 lbs while vinnie and paulie d spotted each other and looked on.  I was walking through the gym to the women's locker room. I passed another woman,also working out, and I caught myself thinking "Well at least I'm not as big as her."

I felt horrible. I had, for just a moment, become the bitchy judgemental ladies I hated and made fun of a few months ago. And I'm not even in shape the way they were.

Why do we do that? Why do we, as women, feel the need to compare ourselves to other women? Why do we guage where we should be based on the sizes of the girls around us? Am I the only one who looks around a crowded room to see if I am the heaviest person there? Am I the only one who is silently envious of the skinnier women and silently relieved when there's a girl around who's bigger than me? It's sick and twisted, honestly. But I think it's something that everyone does.

So that's the end of that. If there's one thing I can do today, in addition to all the other crap I've got going on, it's to focus on being the best I can be. For me. To focus on my progress and mine alone, and forget everyone else and where they are in their journey. Today is just about me doing MY best.