Hey all! I was THIS close to not posting today. I'm rather out of it. I've got a migraine headache, cramps like you would not believe, and I'm effing exhausted.
How's that for honest?
To make matters worse, today has just been a really off day for me. I signed into facebook a week early! GASP! I had to check up on some stuff for my sister's bridal shower which is in two weeks, so I couldn't really wait any longer. I also cheated today. Despite today not being a cheat day.
I read a really interesting thing on my friend stacy's facebook. She said that her treat to herself for losing 35lbs was to get hello kitty floormats for her car. And someone commented that that was the right thing to do, and that celebrating by having a cheat day is like an alcoholic celebrating their victories with a few drinks.
And that's really true, you know? I think part of my backslide has to do with my coach TELLING me to cheat. And I think that having lost so much weight in such a short time has made me a little TOO comfortable, which has made me lax a little in my eating habits over the last four days. Which is no good. If you want results, you still have to do the work.
So no more cheat days from now til the wedding. cravings be DAMNED. I am taking this moment to re-commit to my diet once again. I know I do this a lot. But this is HARD. And it SUCKS. And so I have to re-focus myself a lot or I'm just going to say eff it and drop it all together.
120lbs in 12 months.
Scratch that.
100lbs in 11 months.
That's a pretty good edit to make. :)
OH! I also wanted to update you guys on Zumba. I went yesterday, and it was a completely different experience than Saturday. Saturday my heart rate was up and I wanted to die, but it was still a REALLY good class.
Monday just sucked.
I think I stumbled into the zumba doctorate class. Something where you need a masters in salsa hip shaking from juiliard to even keep up with the steps. It was so hard. I felt like I didn't even get a good workout because I was so busy trying to keep up with the steps. Futhermore I was literally the only woman in the class who wasn't a size 2, and I was the only woman who didn't know every single step of every single routine.
This instructor clearly doesn't mix up her songs very much. Or her choreography.
To make matters worse, the instructor, a susan powter on speed super peppy flight attendant of a woman with a neon pink leotard and one of those olivia newton john get physical sweatbands, was overly peppy and continually singled me out. Granted, she was doing it in a positive way ("YOU CAN DO IT!" "JUST KEEP TRYING, YOU'LL GET IT!") but I still wanted to deck her.
When I left the class, red faced and frustrated, she stopped me and gave me a thumbs up and an overenthusiastic "YOU DID A GREAT JOB!". I wanted to turn around and be like... are you fucking blind? I was stumbling around out there. I belong in the special olympics of zumba what the hell is WRONG with you! I didn't do a great job at all!
Her enthusiasm actually made me feel worse. Like, I needed all that extra encouragement and recognition because Im fat. Fuck you lady. I will be attending zumba on saturday mornings only, thank you very much.
So. I'm hitting the gym hard tomorrow. Back to my old routine of cardio/resistance/weights and super tightly sticking to my diet. I have 5 days essentially to undo the damage I've done over the last couple of days. Can I do it?
You bet your ass I'm going to try!
Your coach's tip to cheat was based on it helping your metabolism or something. ask if there is a way you can "cheat" on your diet without actually indulging yourself. like eating somethign healthy, that's not part of the diet. then you won't feel like you are going backwards.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for sticking it out in the class. Who cares about all of them. You may have felt worse if she'd ignored you entirely.